It's the silly season in AFL land, and lying is second nature for players and clubs who are looking to move, or move someone on.

To cut through the bullsh*t, we've decoded what the players (and clubs) have said, and what they really meant.

Andrew Gaff – I want to move home.

What he means: I want to move to Melbourne because it’s closer to the tribunal.

Mitch McGovern - Carlton have a good group of young players and I have some really good friends in Melbourne.

What he means: The mental disintegration from Collective Minds and my former employer was the last straw. Carlton stink, but at least they just accept it. Oh, and they’ve offered me eff-off money.

Dylan Shiel – I want to move back to Victoria.

What he means: I want to play in a part of Australia where someone, anyone, recognises me.

Tom Lynch – I want to move closer to my home and family in Blairgowrie.

What he means: I want to win the occasional game and it’ll be better for my life after football. No, not just because of the money, but the physical toll carrying the Suns takes on a person. Just look at my knee and Gaz’s (Ablett) shoulders.

Tom Lynch (again) – I don’t want to end up one of those crippled footballers.

What he means: I don’t want to end up like Dermott.

Aaron Hall – I want to move to the Kangaroos because they play in Tasmania four times per year.

What he means – The Suns are shithouse and I can’t even be bothered thinking of an excuse as to why I’m leaving. Will anyone notice if I say I want to play multiple times in the world’s coldest place?

Sam Lloyd – I want to get more senior opportunities.

What he really means: I’m sick of getting 30 and two goals in the ressies only for you to play Reece Conca ahead of me.

It’s not just the players who come up with some creative reasons why to part company with a member of staff. Here’s a couple of clubs attempts at deception run through the Paul Morello truth machine.

Sydney Swans to Alex Johnson - We don’t see you in our future plans.

What they mean: Alex, you’ve had so much surgery on that knee, if you attempt to play top flight football again you’re liable to end up with a wooden leg, and or become addicted to general anaesthetic. Please stop doing this to yourself.

Essendon Bombers to Brendan Goddard - You’ve been an unbelievable servant, but we are going to give a kid an opportunity.

What they meant: BJ, your performances no longer warrant dealing with the psychological toll your berating of teammates creates. So yes, we’re looking to give a kid an opportunity… to go to work without being tormented.

Melbourne Demons to Jesse Hogan - You’re from over there, we could get a decent player, pick, or both, it might be win win.

What they mean: Look, when you went down, we thought we might struggle to make finals yet again, but we did and the forward line looked pretty fucking nice without you down there. Head home, light a dart, and enjoy the big pay day that’s coming, mate.

Stay tuned, as trade week continues, we'll be updating this and decoding all the rubbish that's coming out of players, clubs and managers mouths.