After 15 “dumb” years without a men’s major singles title, President Trump has had enough.

En-route to Melbourne, the commander-in-chief believed winning the Australian Open would be “very, very easy” and labelled America’s current crop of men “losers”.

After dominating the seventies thru nineties, thanks to Connors, McEnroe, Sampras and Agassi, it has been over a decade since the once proud sporting nation had a male make a Grand Slam final, so it seems The Donald, for once, has a point.

But how exactly will The Donald make American tennis great again”? Easy, he says.

“I went from very successful businessman, to top T.V. Star, to President of the United States on my first try. So Roger Federer doesn’t scare me”, tweeted The President.

Trump, told a press conference today that he was a “gifted” player in college, noting that his game was built on defence.

“I build a wall on the baseline and make my opponent pay” said the 71-year-old New York native. “My serve is like a missile, much bigger and better than Rocket Man (an unseeded North Korean) and the Russian”.

When asked whether his small hands helped with deft touch, P.O.T.U.S ended the interview labelling this reporter “Sloppy Steve from SportChamps” and insisting this publication was fake news.

Mr Trump will face Terry Bell-Prez at Rod Laver in round one tomorrow night.

Paul Morello

I'm Paul, and I model my life, laugh and hair on Mark Bosnich. There's no animal, athlete or team that can carry the weight of my money.