So, the World Cup qualifiers have finally finished with Argentina making it and America dramatically losing out, after a humiliating defeat to Trinidad and Tobago (lol). That means that it is time for the Premier League again, with a veritable feast of fixtures, the most important of which is United vs Liverpool. Unfortunately, for the Scousers, their defence is about as useful as a wet paper bag, meaning that Mourinho’s crew of giants will most likely over-power them. Manchester City the new favourites for the title, host Stoke in a game that they will surely win, while Chelsea is the lucky team to play goalless, whipping boys Crystal Palace. Here is how I see week eight of the Premier League season going down:

Liverpool vs United

It is a shame that one of the great rivalries of the Premier League kicks off at 12:30 after an international break. Players are always sluggish at this time and players such as Coutinho and Salah will have made long flights, meaning that they are unlikely to be at their best. Sadio Mane has also been ruled out for six weeks with a hamstring, which will seriously dent their hopes of snatching any points away from United. Mourinho also faces a few injury headaches ahead of this weeks game, with his favourite mop-haired giant, Fellaini having been ruled out for an extended period of time with a knee injury and Lukaku described as doubtful, which means he is a certainty to play. All of this won’t matter though, Man United are on a roll and will grittily dispatch with Liverpool, whose inability to defend will come back to haunt them: 2-1 United.

Burnley vs West Ham

West Ham aren’t very good, while Burnley are pluckily punching well above their weight: when you combine this with the fact that West Ham’s best player, Javier Hernandez, will arrive back from Mexico late; there is only one obvious outcome: a refreshing 2-0 Burnley win, which will move West Ham closer to the relegation battle they so richly deserve.

Crystal Palace vs Chelsea

Chelsea will beat Crystal Palace, who are yet to register a goal, in what is fast becoming the worst campaign in Premier League history. The injury to Palace’s best striker (if they have one), Benteke, compounds this problem and you really do wonder, where Palace’s goals will come from. It won’t be a thrashing, though, as Chelsea have injury problems of their own (Kante and Morata), meaning that the most likely result is 2-0 to the blues.

Manchester City vs Stoke

Manchester City is now officially the team to beat this year and their performance against Chelsea was one that they have never managed before: a gritty 1-0 victory, based upon a solid defence. Chelsea has always beaten City in close games in the past, which made the victory all the more impressive. You have to assume that they will have enough to beat Stoke at home, with the most likely score being 3-1.

Swansea vs Huddersfield

This game will not be a classic and if you are a football purist, I recommend doing something else with your Saturday afternoon. Both teams play solid football, but they certainly won’t get your pulses racing: because I like Swansea, I think that they will scrape a 1-0 victory, but I don’t say that with much confidence.

Tottenham vs Bournemouth

Tottenham will head to Wembley without a home victory this season, ranking seventeenth in the league’s home form table: they certainly have a problem at the National Stadium, which everyone else hopes Bournemouth will make worse. Unfortunately, Tottenham’s flaws are the only reason to think this and it is difficult to see second-bottom, Bournemouth getting anything: 3-1 Tottenham.

Watford vs Arsenal

Arsenal has been quiet for a few weeks: stringing together a few wins and reminding everybody why they are the biggest cock-teases in football. This means that it is time for them to do an Arsenal and drop silly points in a game that they would be winning if they were ever going to live up to their fans’ lofty aspirations for them: 2-1 Watford and a return to the Wenger out banners, of old.

Brighton vs Everton

£93 million pounds spent and the return of Shrek meant that Everton fans went into the season with plenty of hope and expectation. All of this appears to have been misplaced and that £93 million-pound outlay has so far been worth 4 goals scored and 12 conceded. Koeman is a man under pressure and got the dreaded vote of confidence, usually a sign that he is about to be shown the door in a less than polite manner. Logic dictates that Everton will win, however, Brighton is on a bit of a roll and the lack of confidence in the Everton team means that I am going for an upset: 2-1 Brighton.

Southampton vs Newcastle

This is another game that promises to be about as interesting as watching paint dry, with dreary and defensive Southampton, taking on dreary and defensive Newcastle. I think that Southampton will probably scrape a 1-0 win because Benitez will almost certainly play for a draw: something that he has done his entire career.

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Leicester vs West Brom

Leicester is hovering ominously above the relegation zone, which is nothing more than they deserve after the disgraceful way they treated club legend, Ranieri, last year. The man who took over was Craig Shakespeare and he seems to be acting out his very own Shakespearian tragedy: jealousy, a knife in the back and then a dramatic fall from grace. West Brom will win this and propel Leicester closer to the Championship place they so richly deserve: 2-1 West Brom.